Why Am I So Overwhelmed All the Time? A Counsellor’s Guide
A Counsellor’s Guide to Understanding Your Mind & Nervous System
Feeling constantly overwhelmed can be confusing, exhausting, and sometimes frightening. You may find yourself thinking:
“Why can’t I cope like I used to?”
“Why does everything feel too much?”
“Other people seem to manage — what’s wrong with me?”
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. Many people I support here at Mindnest Counselling in Illawong come to me feeling overstretched, stuck in survival mode, or unable to calm their mind no matter what they try.
Overwhelm is not a personal failure — it’s a nervous system response, and it’s more common than you might think.
In this guide, I’ll explain why overwhelm happens, what it looks like, and what can help you feel more grounded. I’ll also share a little about my own experience, because I know firsthand what it feels like to reach a point where life becomes “too much.”
What Overwhelm Actually Is
Overwhelm isn’t just “feeling stressed.”
It’s what happens when:
your mind is overstimulated
your emotional load is too heavy
your nervous system is running too fast
or you’ve been operating in survival mode for too long
Your brain stops processing things smoothly and switches into protection mode — fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. This is automatic. It’s not something you choose or control.
Common signs of overwhelm:
difficulty making decisions
irritability or emotional sensitivity
feeling constantly tired but unable to rest
withdrawing or shutting down
losing motivation
trouble concentrating
feeling like you’re “on edge”
crying easily or bottling things up
If you’re nodding along, your nervous system may be overwhelmed — not because you’re weak, but because you’ve been coping with too much for too long.
Why Overwhelm Happens
There are several reasons people experience ongoing overwhelm:
1. You’ve been “holding it together” for too long
Many people function extremely well on the outside while struggling internally. This is especially true for high-achieving or caring people — parents, professionals, helpers, partners.
2. You’ve had past stress or trauma that wasn’t fully processed
Old emotional stress can get activated again during current life pressure, making everything feel heavier.
3. You’re living in a constant state of alertness
Your nervous system may be stuck in “hypervigilance” — staying alert, scanning for danger, or bracing for the next problem.
4. Life transitions are piling up
Relationship changes, grief, parenting stress, work demands, financial pressure, health concerns — even one of these can be overwhelming. Many people face several at once.
5. Not enough time to rest
Rest isn’t just sleep — it’s emotional, mental and sensory rest too. Without these, your capacity gets depleted.
And sometimes the reason is simply:
6. You’re human, and you reached your limit.
A Personal Note: I Know This Feeling Too
Before becoming a counsellor, I worked in the police force, where stress, unpredictability and emotional load were daily experiences. I witnessed overwhelm in others — and I felt it myself.
There were moments I pushed through exhaustion, thinking, “I should be able to handle this.”
There were times when I didn’t recognise the signs that my own nervous system needed rest, support, and space.
Those experiences shaped the way I practise today.
I learned that overwhelm isn’t a flaw.
It’s a signal — a quiet, compassionate whisper from your mind and body saying:
“I need care. I need space. I need support.”
This is why my approach at Mindnest Counselling is calm, trauma-informed and grounded in understanding. I don’t see overwhelm as something to “fix” — but something to gently explore, soothe and support.
How Counselling Helps With Overwhelm
Therapy provides a safe, steady space to:
✔ Understand what’s beneath the overwhelm
We explore the patterns, pressures and experiences contributing to how you feel.
✔ Regulate your nervous system
You’ll learn tools to help your body settle, breathe and come back into balance.
✔ Reduce the sense of “carrying everything alone”
Being heard, supported and understood can lighten the emotional load.
✔ Rebuild your emotional capacity
We work on strengthening boundaries, self-trust, self-compassion and resilience.
✔ Find clarity instead of chaos
As your mind calms, decision-making and problem-solving become easier.
You don’t have to be in crisis to seek help — in fact, counselling can be most effective when you’re catching things early.
Small, Gentle Things That Can Help Right Now
Here are some simple practices you can try today:
Slow down your breathing (longer exhales calm the body)
Take one thing off your to-do list (reduce the load, not your worth)
Ground through your senses (notice 5 things you can see, 4 you can feel…)
Give yourself permission to rest
Say “no” where you can
Reach out to someone safe
Small steps matter. Healing isn’t about doing everything — it’s about finding small moments of ease.
You’re Not Meant to Carry This Alone
If you’ve been feeling overwhelmed for weeks, months, or even years, please know you’re not failing — you’re coping with more than your mind and body were built to carry alone.
You deserve support, steadiness and space to breathe again.
At Mindnest Counselling in Illawong, I offer warm, confidential support for adults, teens and families experiencing overwhelm, burnout, anxiety and emotional overload. In-person, online and telehealth sessions are available, with a free 15-minute consult if you'd like to see whether we’re a good fit.
Whenever you’re ready, I’m here.
